For sure we all want to feel good in this life, but why do we ever get to a point when feeling bad feels good? The most common experience is when we hear a song that brings us sad memories and we keep listening.
Or when we have a conversation about a sad experience and we keep talking about it, or we keep listening others talk about it. Once you understand why sometimes it feels good to feel bad then it’ll be easier for you to take control of your life.
My student asked
One of the students from my last class asked me this question: “Why does it feel good to feel bad?” This was a very interesting question and I had no answer for her at that moment -but I love when I get questions like this because they’re opportunities for me to learn as well.
We continued talking and I learned that she already knew it was not good for her, for her vibe, nor for her emotional, mental or physical health, but she still allowed herself to feel pretty bad emotionally and didn’t know how to stop it. I found it very interesting to hear her say that.
I kept thinking about that question and wanted very strongly to find an answer. So, as you might imagine, my desire to know the answer increased with time. Thankfully the law of attraction didn’t take long to bring me the information I needed to understand and answer that question.
Let the experts answer
I began researching for the answer online but I didn’t find it. Then as usual I turned to my books. I was browsing a book and about halfway of the book one subtitle caught my attention. There I found the answer to the question.
The book was Theta Healing by Vianna Stibal and she says the following: “Your brain cells, known as neurons, have receptors for emotion. Whether that emotion is depression or happiness, it is like a ‘fix’ to your cells. Once a receptor is used to an emotion, it has to have it, just like a drug. So, if you are used to being depressed, you will create depression.” Very interesting, don't you think?
Dr. Joe Dispenza
Then the next day I was interested in a video that YouTube suggested for me where Dr. Joe Dispenza explains the same concept. What I understood from it is that when we revisit a strong negative emotion over and over, the body gets to a point in which it’s trained to feel that chemical reaction, and unconsciously wants to bring that emotion to the mind over and over because it wants to feel that way again.
His point of view is similar to what Vianna said in her book. The brain is making you bring thoughts to your mind that are causing the neurons to get their ‘fix’. I believe this is when at some point you might feel that your thoughts are thinking you.
Not long after that video I came across another one that explained another reason as to why we feel good by feeling bad. In this video Caroline Myss explains how people in the past used to connect with others through similar interests, but now, people have been trained to connect with others through similar wounds.
Since we want to continue to be connected to people, we need to keep the wound(s) we used to start the relationship with. So, unconsciously, it’s very unlikely we’ll ever want to heal from that particular emotional hurt because there’s a high risk of that relationship ending -and we usually don’t want that.
But we don’t know what we’re doing to ourselves because this is actually causing our neurons to get us used to feeling bad and get the brain addicted to those negative feeling emotions. Interesting, isn’t it? But like with any other addiction, there’s always hope for healing.
How to stop the addiction of feeling bad
All three of these experts agree that the first thing for you to do, if you want to get out of the addiction of feeling bad, is to be aware of what you’re unconsciously doing, decide that you want to be free from that addiction, and start acting in a new way.
So once you’re aware of what your mind is doing with your thoughts, and once you decide it’s time to change that, then you need to act. I recommend you to begin by choosing to feel good as often as possible. This means that you need to cut away things from your life that don’t make you feel good.
Some of the things you could do is to stop watching depressing movies and TV series, stop watching dramatic news that don’t serve you. Stop watching sad videos, stop listening to sad songs, and stop reading sad stories.
Stay away from people, events and circumstances that don’t make you feel good. Stop going to places that remind you of sad moments. Stop listening to people complaint and stop participating in conversations that do not uplift you or anyone else.
Abandon the idea that you need to bring out your negative feeling emotions to get attention. You can use the positive feeling emotions to get the same kind, and even more uplifting and fulfilling, attention that you may need or want.
This addiction is not something that can be changed overnight, but it’s definitely 100% doable. It’s all a matter of you deciding and wanting to create a better life for you by feeling better. So begin right now.
Stop allowing your mind to spend too much time ruminating on sad moments from your past.” Claudia LeBaron
If even after you’ve made the decision to feel better you still feel you’re struggling more than you should, then you might benefit from some emotional healing.
But remember, in order for you to feel better, you need to make a decision. Make the decision right now to heal and move toward better and greater things in life.
A little disclaimer here... even though I tell you, or suggest you, or advise you to do something, or stop doing something else, you're completely free to do whatever the heck you want.
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