We have been taught for hundreds of years that we need to forgive others, but what if we had it all wrong like so many other things? What if we didn’t have to forgive anyone, not even ourselves?
I know this is a very delicate subject, one not everyone will understand, so I want to clarify that the main message of this post is to learn to understand life and to let go of unpleasant emotions.
We’ve been taught that we need to forgive those that trespass against us, or ask for forgiveness for our trespasses, but when you understand that all acts each of us commit is part of a much larger purpose, you will know that there is nothing to forgive but everything to understand.
This is by no means a permission slip to go out and hurt others, in fact, if you do so you will not be feeling good with yourself. No one who understands what I’m writing and explaining here, will go out and hurt anyone. If you think this is a permission to hurt others or seek revenge, it only means you do not understand at all my message and what I teach, so I invite you to read more.
This is by no means a permission slip to go out and hurt others, in fact, if you do so you will not be feeling good with yourself. No one who understands what I’m writing and explaining here, will go out and hurt anyone. If you think this is a permission to hurt others or seek revenge, it only means you do not understand at all my message and what I teach, so I invite you to read more.
Resentment and forgiveness
Believing that we need to forgive means that we already have at least emotions of blame, resentment, anger, hatred, shame, sadness, regret and/or guilt in us therefore we’re living in that emotional state.
Those emotions make us see life in a way that causes us to make decisions that otherwise we would not have made. Although in many cases are not very pleasant, there are many more that had not been for those moments we wouldn’t be where we currently are, granted where we are is better than where we were.
Feeling negative emotions are a wonderful opportunity to identify exactly what you don’t want or don't like and immediately turn it into what you do want, put your entire focus on it and begin your way to it. Begin imagining how you are going to feel when you get to that new place you want and the process will be easier.
So instead of feeling a need to forgive, see your negative emotions as an opportunity to grow and improve your life.
Those emotions make us see life in a way that causes us to make decisions that otherwise we would not have made. Although in many cases are not very pleasant, there are many more that had not been for those moments we wouldn’t be where we currently are, granted where we are is better than where we were.
Feeling negative emotions are a wonderful opportunity to identify exactly what you don’t want or don't like and immediately turn it into what you do want, put your entire focus on it and begin your way to it. Begin imagining how you are going to feel when you get to that new place you want and the process will be easier.
So instead of feeling a need to forgive, see your negative emotions as an opportunity to grow and improve your life.
Understand and don’t judge
We're all part of this game of life, and we're all contributing, whether we want it or not, to each other’s life directly or indirectly. Every act you or anyone commits is affecting many others.
Some of those decisions and acts are needed to take us in the direction we need to go based on the intention of our souls. Every act, choice and word is needed to take us in the direction we need to go.
Granted that not every detail may be needed, since there are countless options, I still want you to remember that everything that's happening is supposed to happen for the same reason that it is already happening, and it is okay.
Our responsibility in this life lies in how we react and what decisions we make to continue playing this game.
This life is not a game of hatred and resentment, this game was supposed to be fun. I know that at certain times it doesn’t feel fun at all; especially when you feel that you don’t have any power to affect your circumstances. But let me remind you that you have all the power in the universe to change the way you feel.
Once you recognize the way you feel, you will understand the way others feel and will see that what they say or do are only a reflection of what you are expecting of them, of the emotional state in which they live, and of their life’s intention.
If they consciously knew this, trust me, they would change. The key here is to consciously know. Not everyone knows this is what they’re doing and much less know how to get out of it.
So, please don’t judge, release the need to forgive, and instead just understand that everything is fine and everything will be fine.
Some of those decisions and acts are needed to take us in the direction we need to go based on the intention of our souls. Every act, choice and word is needed to take us in the direction we need to go.
Granted that not every detail may be needed, since there are countless options, I still want you to remember that everything that's happening is supposed to happen for the same reason that it is already happening, and it is okay.
Our responsibility in this life lies in how we react and what decisions we make to continue playing this game.
This life is not a game of hatred and resentment, this game was supposed to be fun. I know that at certain times it doesn’t feel fun at all; especially when you feel that you don’t have any power to affect your circumstances. But let me remind you that you have all the power in the universe to change the way you feel.
Once you recognize the way you feel, you will understand the way others feel and will see that what they say or do are only a reflection of what you are expecting of them, of the emotional state in which they live, and of their life’s intention.
If they consciously knew this, trust me, they would change. The key here is to consciously know. Not everyone knows this is what they’re doing and much less know how to get out of it.
So, please don’t judge, release the need to forgive, and instead just understand that everything is fine and everything will be fine.
Release negative emotions
Once you see why it’s not healthy for you to live in negative emotions caused by the need to forgive or the need to be forgiven, and once you understand that everything has a purpose in this game of life, release any lingering negative emotions you might still have.
There are many ways to do so. I highly encourage emotional healing, but you can begin doing these things for now:
The difference between writing and crying or talking with someone is that writing is a wonderful practice that can be done for a very long time and even has the potential to be turned into an insightful conversation with your Soul. And about feeling your emotions, that's the best practice you can adopt in your life.
There are many ways to do so. I highly encourage emotional healing, but you can begin doing these things for now:
- Crying. Crying helps the body to heal. Through crying you release tension. Just make sure you cry only what's necessary. You will know when the release has been completed. Just like when you laugh at a joke, if you continue laughing it make take the moment to an awkward place; the same is with crying. If you keep crying, it may take you, and those around you, to an awkward place and the benefit of crying may be lost. So, just cry enough to release your tension. It's best if you do it alone, it's more effective. Besides, I don't think you want to create negative emotions in others when they see you crying.
- Feel the emotion. Allow yourself to feel the emotion. Don't try to suppress it, don't try to get it go away. Just stay there, quiet, close your eyes and follow that warmth in your body. The warmth is carrying the emotion. Once you identify it and allow yourself to feel it, you'll realize that that emotion is such a wonderful experience because you will see it outside of you and not as a part of you. Stay with that emotions for about 2 minutes or until you feel the warmth of that emotion is gone.
- Talk to someone. Talking releases tension when done properly. When you talk to someone, make sure the purpose is just to let your tension out, to vent. Just make sure you vent up to the point when you begin feeling better. It shouldn’t take long. If you keep talking and talking about the same subject, it may be counterproductive and the emotion you wanted to release has just increased. So make sure you select the right person to talk to and make sure you pay attention to how you feel in your body. Once you feel the tension gone, stop talking about the subject.
- Writing. Writing is also a way to release tension. If there’s no one you can talk to, or if you prefer more privacy, write. Write how you feel. Vent on the page, either on paper or in your computer; just make sure you vent. Make it a conversation with someone if that helps you. If you fear someone might read your pages, don’t save the file or destroy the page once you’re done. This process may take one day or many days. Just keep at it until you feel the release of the emotion.
The difference between writing and crying or talking with someone is that writing is a wonderful practice that can be done for a very long time and even has the potential to be turned into an insightful conversation with your Soul. And about feeling your emotions, that's the best practice you can adopt in your life.
True forgiveness is when you can say, "Thank you for that experience.” ― Oprah Winfrey
What do you think about forgiveness now? Do you still feel a need to forgive or be forgiven? Let me know in the comments below.
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Thank you,
Thank you,
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Happiness is Where You Live
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