Everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to love, but many are confused and don’t know how. Keep reading to learn more about love and how to love right.
Let me start with this, if you don’t love yourself, you don’t have love to give—simple as that. If you don’t have love to give, it’s very common to get all kinds of love mixed up in the effort to love and wanting to feel love.
Confused love
A group of scientists in Finland did a study to find out if people feel certain emotions in the same places of their bodies. People from different cultures were asked to mark in a human body map where they felt movement of energy (increase or decrease) as they were exposed to words, images and videos that triggered emotions.
Regardless of culture or where in the world they are, people felt the same emotions in the same parts of the body. The illustration for the body map of the emotion of love looks very illuminated. It shows increased energy all over the body including arms—for hugging I assume. But it has even more light in the sexual areas of the body: genital, breasts, and mouth.
This little detail tells me that we have mixed up the different types of love we feel; unless the people taking the tests were shown only images about romantic love, which I doubt it. Or maybe the confusion began with the scientists showing all types images, words, and videos about all types of love not knowing what they were doing.
Regardless of culture or where in the world they are, people felt the same emotions in the same parts of the body. The illustration for the body map of the emotion of love looks very illuminated. It shows increased energy all over the body including arms—for hugging I assume. But it has even more light in the sexual areas of the body: genital, breasts, and mouth.
This little detail tells me that we have mixed up the different types of love we feel; unless the people taking the tests were shown only images about romantic love, which I doubt it. Or maybe the confusion began with the scientists showing all types images, words, and videos about all types of love not knowing what they were doing.
Types of love
Greek philosophers spent much time identifying the different types of love. Fast forward until now and you find the Greek have identified eight types of love. They are as follows:
Eros love is a romantic and passionate kind of love that arises from the primal need to procreate.
Philia love is the type of love you show your friends and has nothing to do with physical attraction although it has to do with personality types.
Storge love is the kind of love we have for our children and family and does not depend on personality types.
Mania love turns any kind of pleasant love to an obsession up to the point of violence.
Ludus love is the kind of love that focuses on having fun without demands and complications.
Pragma love is the kind of love that has matured after the years and those experiencing it made compromises so the relationship continues. It is more common in romantic relationships but it can apply to any kind of relationships.
Philautia love is the kind of love we have for ourselves. It comes from the understanding that if we don’t have love for ourselves we don’t have love to give.
Agape love is the kind of love that does not require anything or anyone to be, do, or have anything to be loved. This is what unconditional love is all about—it is universal love full of compassion, acceptance, and concern felt for others, nature, and God.
Eros love is a romantic and passionate kind of love that arises from the primal need to procreate.
Philia love is the type of love you show your friends and has nothing to do with physical attraction although it has to do with personality types.
Storge love is the kind of love we have for our children and family and does not depend on personality types.
Mania love turns any kind of pleasant love to an obsession up to the point of violence.
Ludus love is the kind of love that focuses on having fun without demands and complications.
Pragma love is the kind of love that has matured after the years and those experiencing it made compromises so the relationship continues. It is more common in romantic relationships but it can apply to any kind of relationships.
Philautia love is the kind of love we have for ourselves. It comes from the understanding that if we don’t have love for ourselves we don’t have love to give.
Agape love is the kind of love that does not require anything or anyone to be, do, or have anything to be loved. This is what unconditional love is all about—it is universal love full of compassion, acceptance, and concern felt for others, nature, and God.
More about unconditional love
Unconditionally love is similar to the unconditional love you have for your children, or your pets, or your plants, but in this case you feel for and give it to everyone and anyone in the world.
You can see it very clearly when you see someone in trouble and without even knowing, or ever seeing, this person you help them out. There are no conditions for that person to be loved by you at that moment—for a moment you love them just because they exist.
You feel good about showing this type of love to others. It feels satisfying because this type of love is who you really are. The more you learn and practice to love this way the more you are going back to who you really are.
Imagine that every time you do acts of unconditional love you are filling yourself up with light that illuminates not only your body but the body of the person you love.
You can see it very clearly when you see someone in trouble and without even knowing, or ever seeing, this person you help them out. There are no conditions for that person to be loved by you at that moment—for a moment you love them just because they exist.
You feel good about showing this type of love to others. It feels satisfying because this type of love is who you really are. The more you learn and practice to love this way the more you are going back to who you really are.
Imagine that every time you do acts of unconditional love you are filling yourself up with light that illuminates not only your body but the body of the person you love.
How to love unconditionally
Let go of programs that separate you from others. Programs related to religion, sports, politics, education, profession, you name it. See others as part of the same human group. This will make it easier for you to show them your love because they don’t need to be part of “your” group since you will have none.
Some people will not know how to react to love shown to them because they might not be used to it, but just love them because it feels great to love. If they can take the love, good; if they can’t, that’s not your problem or responsibility; you did it mostly to fill yourself with light anyway. Most people are not in the frequency of love and it is only normal they cannot reciprocate your love, and that’s perfectly understandable.
Lastly, only show love when you feel good. If you don’t feel good it means you are not in the frequency of love and as much as you want to show it or give it, it will not come out. Remember that you cannot give what you don’t have.
Some people will not know how to react to love shown to them because they might not be used to it, but just love them because it feels great to love. If they can take the love, good; if they can’t, that’s not your problem or responsibility; you did it mostly to fill yourself with light anyway. Most people are not in the frequency of love and it is only normal they cannot reciprocate your love, and that’s perfectly understandable.
Lastly, only show love when you feel good. If you don’t feel good it means you are not in the frequency of love and as much as you want to show it or give it, it will not come out. Remember that you cannot give what you don’t have.
The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.” ― Stephen Kendrick
Don’t expect anything in return because it will no longer be unconditional. The entire point of unconditional love is to love without conditions and without expecting anything in return. So, love just because it feels good to love. Make your focus more about giving love than receiving it.
Did you like this post? Subscribe here to send you more like it to your inbox. Also, feel free to share this post in your social media or with someone you think might benefit from this information. Thank you!
Related Publications:
What Does Loving Yourself Even Mean?
If You’re Going To Love Someone, Love Yourself First
What Being In Love Is About
How To Love Yourself
What Does Loving Yourself Even Mean?
If You’re Going To Love Someone, Love Yourself First
What Being In Love Is About
How To Love Yourself
