Are You Living By Default?

8/16/2017

Living by default, to me, feels as if you’re just sitting on a bench waiting for death to come for you. Don’t you think this is the saddest thing a human being can experience?

Want to find out if you’re living by default? Keep reading to find out and to get a plan to begin making changes so you can finally get up and enjoy a happy life.

You’re living a life by default if

Living a life by default means that you’re reacting to whatever life brings your way; or not acting over those things you desire. For instance, you’re living by default if:

You’re letting any thing and any one make changes and direct your life
You don’t have any dreams nor plans to act on
You don’t have control of what comes into your life experience
You’re bored with your life but don’t know what to do with it
You’re mostly waiting for the day to end
Heck, you’re mostly waiting for the day in which your life will end

You don’t have to keep living this way though. It’s time for you to take control of your life by choosing what to allow and not to allow into your life. Take control and be the designer of your life and begin living with purpose.

Living with purpose is when your life is designed by you. You decide which people, circumstances and events come to your life. Do you have too much and want to let some go? Then it’s time for some pruning.

Pruning time

If you have given up on your life it’s because you feel you have too much going on and you feel overwhelmed. You feel you don’t have control of what happens in your life and you feel there is no use in fighting it, so you just give up.

When you feel like this, it’s time to get rid of some things. It’s time to do some pruning. Pruning is when you remove branches from plants and trees that are affecting its growth. If they seem to be bringing the tree down or hindering its growth, they need to be removed.

The same is true in our lives. We need to review and analyze everything and everyone that come into our lives. We need to see which of those people or things are hindering our growth and do something to cut them out of our lives.

Living by default feels as if you’re just sitting on a bench waiting for death to come for you. Don’t you think this is the saddest way a human being can live?

Prune your life

You don’t have to remove them all at once, but begin by removing the most significant ones; the ones that will positively impact you the most.

Pruning yourself
Before you prune any thing or any one, you have to prune yourself first.

Remove thoughts and beliefs of lack, of being incapable, of not being enough, of not having what it takes, of hopelessness, helplessness.
Release feelings that do not make you feel good
Let go of moods that don’t feel good and bring you results you don’t like nor want
Unnecessary decisions
Negative actions and reactions

Pruning things
Remove things from your life that keep you in negative emotional states such as worry, anxiety, depression, anger, etc.; things that make you waste time, energy and focus.

Take at this list and see if there’s something that needs to be removed or changed:

Work/business
School
Health (negative impacts to your physical, mental, emotional health)
Television
Internet
Other

Pruning people
Pruning people is different; pruning people is about getting out of the life of those people that do not support you or your growth.

This can be people that are not able to respect your needs and desires because they are too focused on their own and need you to also do the same, focus on them. This can also be people who always are criticizing or complaining of you and or others.

In general, people that drain your energy and do not make you feel eager or relaxed to be near them should be pruned. It’s easier to do this when they’re not your immediate family.

Relatives
Neighbors
Friends
Co-workers/business partners
Acquaintances
All others

If you feel you need pruning from your immediate family: spouse/partner, children, parents or siblings, you’ll need another plan for this (professional counseling maybe).

For now just observe them and if they cannot “see you” or “hear you” I recommend you to get out of their way as much as you can -only if that feels good to you. Whether you want to get out of their way or not, but still you feel you would like to prune them from your life, I recommend you to find professional help to do something about it.

The purpose of this glorious life is not simply to endure it, but to soar, stumble and flourish as you learn to fall in love with existence. We were born to live my dear not to merely exist.” –Becca Lee

If you need time to make a plan to remove things and people from your life, you can do so, but for now just remove those things and people that definitely can be removed now. Any progress is good for you.

Once you feel you’re getting ready to begin designing your live, to live it with purpose, then it’s time to begin reconnecting with yourself. Begin by knowing yourself, your dreams and passions.

Now tell me, are you living with purpose or by default? If you’re living by default, do you feel empowered now to take action? I would like to hear from you. Please let me know if the comments below.

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Claudia LeBaron Islas

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