A baby doesn’t need to do or be or have anything to be valuable and worthy. This baby is all of that and more just by existing—and the same is for you.
Why do we think that we don’t have value or that we are not worthy of anything good in this life? When does this belief start?
Children innately know their value and worthiness
When babies are born they don't know anything about this world but they still manage to have their basic needs met. That's because adults know babies are valuable and worthy just because they exist, and we gladly take care of them.
As babies become toddlers, they just focus on feeling good. They don’t know or care about being valuable or worthy and they still are. And adults still know that.
Look at the children in your family. Look into their little eyes. Observe their actions and see the value and worthiness they irradiate. Recognize how they don’t need to be or do or have anything to be valuable.
Kids know they deserve anything and everything and don't understand when their parents say otherwise. But parents begin to send signals of their own unworthiness to their children especially when they feel worried, angry, or sad most of the time.
As babies become toddlers, they just focus on feeling good. They don’t know or care about being valuable or worthy and they still are. And adults still know that.
Look at the children in your family. Look into their little eyes. Observe their actions and see the value and worthiness they irradiate. Recognize how they don’t need to be or do or have anything to be valuable.
Kids know they deserve anything and everything and don't understand when their parents say otherwise. But parents begin to send signals of their own unworthiness to their children especially when they feel worried, angry, or sad most of the time.
Why and when we lose the belief that we are valuable and worthy
We believed we were not worthy when we began to open up our perspective to include others—starting with our parents, and when we adopted beliefs of our culture and society as we started school.
- Beliefs from people we love and care. Although most beliefs are good and people meant well in teaching us their beliefs, they don’t know that some of them are useless and hurtful. In particular those beliefs that teach us to stop listening to ourselves and learn to get our direction from others. As we focus on listening to others for direction we focus on their opinion of us to determine our value and worthiness.
- Our belief system grows with us. As we grow and experience life, we affirm or reject beliefs we have been taught—cultural, religious, societal. Unfortunately, we seldom question old beliefs that were ingrained in us by our loved ones, even when they are originated from fear, wrong, hurtful, or obsolete. In particular religious beliefs that tell us we are not worthy of anything good because of our past decisions. Every adult in the world has made decisions that may hurt themselves or others, in different levels of course, but still everybody would be considered unworthy according to religious beliefs. But, what if those beliefs are not completely right? What if there were misinterpretations that were passed down from generation to generation? It's time we begin questioning those beliefs that keep us stuck judging ourselves.
- We compare ourselves to others based on deep beliefs. Comparing ourselves to others is the worst thing we can do to determine our own value and worthiness. This is because there is no one we can possible be compared to because there's no one exactly like us. We all have our own unique background, personality, and desires. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is our past self and even then, mostly to track progress and improvement.
How to find your value and worthiness again
- Remember who you were when you were a child. Remember the amount of thought you put in to being valuable and worthy when you were a child. None, right? Exactly! Stop thinking about that and just be. Be like a child again and feel free by living in the present moment. Do what is fun now, and now, and now. Gapless fun. Although not everything we have to do is fun, let's find a way to make it fun. And let's stop focusing too much on the past or future and more in the present—like a child.
- Question every thought and belief that comes to you. Question every thought and belief mostly when it doesn’t let you move forward. Also question those beliefs that don’t make you feel good or that don’t make sense. Discard them and replace them with other beliefs that will serve you better at the moment. Learn to pay attention to what you're paying attention to. Can’t release those thoughts and beliefs on your own? I can help you.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing yourself to others today, you don’t need that. Think in what YOU are doing and pay no attention to what others are doing unless you're going to help them in something or you're going to work together to create something great. Stop focusing your attention on others and focus it more on yourself because no one else will do it for you. People are too busy with trying to feel worthy themselves and don't have much to help you.
- Trust your new found and uplifting beliefs. Fear and excitement have similar physical responses. Make sure you learn to differentiate them so you don’t back away from a good change. Excitement feels good in your body when you think about the new beliefs and the new change; fear, feels bad.
- Create an image of what a valuable and worthy YOU looks and feels like. Bring out that image of you that you’ve always wanted to bring out. Not so much related to material things, but the essence of how you want to feel. That dream of you being joyful and free—it’s possible. Everything is possible if you imagine it. So, allow yourself to feel worthy and feel good. You are the only one who determines how valuable and worthy you are, and you are also the only one who determines how you want to feel. Remember this always.
A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ― Zen Shin
In our economic system, money and things have value based on what others think and believe them to be worth. But we’re neither money nor things, we’re so much more. So, don’t let others give you your worth; they have no idea what’s theirs much less what’s anybody else’s.
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Related Publications:
Happiness is Where You Live
You Don’t Have To Forgive Anyone
6 Steps to Begin Living a Happier Life
Choose Your Thoughts Wisely
Happiness is Where You Live
You Don’t Have To Forgive Anyone
6 Steps to Begin Living a Happier Life
Choose Your Thoughts Wisely
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