Not everyone can say they feel comfortable feeling emotions. In fact, I would say most people feel uncomfortable feeling them. Especially those emotions they don’t like how they feel. But we need them. We need emotions to learn, grow and evolve.
We need to allow ourselves to feel comfortable with emotions. This process begins by learning more about them and about allowing ourselves to feel them. Let’s start by knowing what emotions are exactly.
What are emotions?
Emotions are waves of energy that can be felt moving throughout our body. The intensity of the emotion and the places it’s felt in the body depend on the particular emotion.
There are many emotions in the emotional spectrum. I like to categorize them in three types: positive, neutral, and negative. This categorization is only based on how we feel the emotions in our bodies.
If we like the feeling of the emotion, it is positive-feeling emotion. If we don’t feel much emotion but it doesn’t necessarily feel bad, then it’s a neutral-feeling emotion. Lastly, if we don’t like how the emotion feels in our body, then it’s a negative-feeling emotion.
Emotions are needed
I’m not sure when this thing of not allowing our children to express their emotions came from. Some see it as a sign of weakness and some as being annoying. The more I teach and help clients, the more I realize that the lack of permission to feel emotions came from very long time ago.
This fallacy that sees expression of emotions as a weakness has been passed down from generation to generation. And it hurts just about everyone —those that have to shut down their emotional expression and those who have to deal with a frustrated person who doesn’t know how to express their emotions.
But emotions are not something we should fear. On the contrary, we need emotions; they are part of the whole human being we are. We need emotions to live this life —we need them to learn, remember, communicate and recognize.
Know where and how you feel them
Riitta Hari and a group of scientists did a research study to map where in the body people felt emotions. The study was done with people from different cultures. They found that emotions are usually felt in the same area of the body regardless of culture.
These results tell you that you’re not alone, that feeling emotions is very normal, and that emotions are consistent in where you feel them in the body.
So, get comfortable with emotions, allow yourself to feel them, and pay attention to where in the body you feel them. This will make it easier for you to understand what emotion you are feeling and what you can do about it.
I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” -- Oscar Wilde
Emotions are not bad. They are all needed to understand and express our energy out into the world. Just make sure you are sending good energy out to everyone.
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