Doesn’t Matter What Others Want, What Matters Is What You Want

​Life's too short to be doing something you don’t want. When you do something you don’t want there's a struggle inside of you that causes you emotional, physical and mental discomfort and sometimes even pain.

​When you focus on what you want instead of what others want, you begin to live a life of fulfillment, joy and peace.
​

Why to focus on yourself

By focusing on yourself you’re definitely sure that you’re taking care of your emotions, your physical body and your mind. When you’re at your best in these areas, you feel motivated, optimistic, content, joyful and free.

No, taking care of you is not being selfish because when you focus on what you want, you take into account everything and everyone that matters to you. For instance, family is usually very important to everyone. If your immediate family is going to be okay, then you are at peace. If your immediate family is not going to be okay, then you’re not at peace.

Focusing on yourself and taking care of you is not being selfish; it’s being conscious of the decisions you make about everything and everyone around you that are part of your peace.
​

Role models of self-focus

When you are feeling the best version of yourself, when you are just being you, you influence others to also be their best they can be. If someone sees you laughing so relaxed, appreciating a child, or singing carelessly to the tune of a song, they notice how you feel. They notice the good energy flowing out of you. And because they also want to feel as good as you, they begin to make changes in their lives to get there.

Imagine all the lives you could positively help change just by taking care of what matters to you. You don’t have to pay attention to who’s watching or to what you’re unconsciously teaching, just be you; just focus on you. Do what matters to you first and they’ll get what they need to get for themselves at that moment.
​
Some examples of people with great self-focus, which at the same time did wonders for others, are Dr. Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and many more.

​You might think, " Oh, they did what they did to help others." And I say, no they did what they did because that's what they wanted to do because that made them feel good, true and alive. They did what they did because they had a very strong belief of action within themselves that needed to come out otherwise they would not be able to live with themselves.
​

How to focus on yourself

We are accustomed to live our lives in sacrifice and it usually doesn’t matter who we sacrifice ourselves for. We somehow have learned that sacrifice is seen as good, accepted by everyone, and gives us some sense of being “special”. But let me ask you, how far has that taken you? How has it helped you? Now, let me tell you, unless that sacrifice feels good and true to you, it’s useless.

Those with power and loud voices have made it clear over the centuries that sacrificing ourselves for others, especially for them, is the right thing to do. I’d say it’s the right thing to do if doing what they want you to do feels good and true to you. If it doesn’t feel good and true to you, then it’s not the right thing for you to do.

I’m not saying drop your responsibilities and go away from them. If you have those responsibilities it's because you chose them and you need to take care of them until it feels good and true to you to let them go. If you leave them before it's time you might be hurting yourself.
​
What I’m saying here is that you need to make sure that whatever decisions you make are decisions with which you’re able to live with; decisions that are going to make you feel good about yourself and about your life.

Self-sacrifice which denies common sense is not a virtue, it’s a spiritual dissipation.” –Margaret Deland
​

​So, next time someone wants something from you make sure it feels good and true to you before you give it to them. Otherwise it will end up being a nightmare for everyone involved, but mostly for you, and you don't want that.
​

​Did you like this post? Let me send you more like it to your inbox every week. All you need to do is to subscribe here. Also, if you think someone might benefit from this information, feel free to share this post with them. Thank you!

---

​Related Posts:

6 Steps to Begin Living a Happier Life

​​You Don’t Have To Forgive Anyone

Why Do We Cling To Painful Relationships​?

​If You’re Going To Love Someone, Love Yourself First

---

Image credit: www.123rf.com/profile_warrengoldswain

---