Happy mother’s day to all wonderful moms out there… but, are they? Are they really wonderful? can they really be all to her children? The title of a mother comes with great expectations and responsibilities imposed by the mother herself, by her children, and by society. But being a mother is just another stage in life and I don't think it needs to be the greatest task of her life. Maybe she should not go through it at all. I'm writing today as a daughter and as a mother. When I was a child I was expecting that my mom will treat me the best way she could possibly do it. After all she had me, I didn’t ask to be born. She was supposed to take care of me and meet all my needs while I was under her care, right? Survival needs, safety needs, emotional needs. How wrong was I. It wasn’t until I become a mother that I realized that I could not possibly meet all my child’s emotional needs. It’s impossible. And even if I tried, I would still somehow end up hurting my child emotionally. I’m sure my mother didn’t plan to hurt me on purpose; just like I didn’t plan to hurt my child on purpose. Maybe that was the reason we chose our mother. Maybe that hurt is something we chose to experience in this life. Maybe through her way of being and acting we would create our perceptions needed to live this life. Maybe we needed to feel that pain to go through some experiences that would help our souls grow. Maybe it is all part of a big plan. Maybe. Match made in heaven That pain I perceived when I was a child was the unconscious drive through which I made many of the big decisions and choices in my life. But the first time I read that I chose my parents before coming to this world was when I began healing that pain from when I was a child. I can't ever tell whether that is true or not, but it served me so I took it. Now I see different. Now I see that we mothers are human beings that also have other plans while living in this world. Having children is just one of them. It's not the only one for sure, but why do we see it like it is? I think it's time that we begin to see motherhood as a stage. Just as those teenage years are a stage in our lives, so is putting ourselves to the side to raise a family for a few years. You don’t have to do this all of your life. Children grow and leave and you need to continue with your Soul’s plans. We all need to stay with our Soul’s plan. But again, maybe your Soul’s plan is to be a great mother for the longest time, and that is OK. Or who knows, maybe your Soul’s plan is for you to not have any children of your own, and that is perfectly fine too. Not all women are born to be mothersEver since I hear Elizabeth Gilbert talk about the 3 types of women she believes there are, I have seen more clearly how the mother role is not something that should be a default role in our lives as women. Elizabeth said “I have come to believe there are three sorts of women, when it comes to questions of maternity. There are women who are born to be mothers, women who are born to be aunties, and women who should not be allowed within ten feet of a child.” I have met women in all three categories doing the wrong role and living a stressful life. But I’ve also seen women in their accurate role as mothers and I can see and feel their expanding joy. Even though I consider myself to be in the auntie category, I still do my mothering job the best I can. I am not perfect, and there is no way I want to be. What’s perfect anyways? I just want to be the best mom ever to my kids. The best mom everWant to be the best mom ever? Simple: always try to feel as good as you can whether you have children or not. Don’t worry, you cannot be the worst mom ever, nor the perfect mom. So, don’t focus on that too much. Instead focus on being a person that knows how to feel good inside, that knows how to love herself, and that is capable of loving others. By focusing on you, through example you show that others can feel good too. Mothers will always be “the best mom ever” because the match was made in heaven." -Claudia LeBaron In the big scheme of things I see as the real purpose of a mother to bring more human beings to this world… to keep the earth populated. But as human beings, our purpose for being in this world is to feel good, be joyful and create whatever we want to create while living here. If being a mother will bring you to that joy, then happy mother’s day to you!. If not being a mother brings you to that same joy, well, happy mother’s day to you too!! In honor to your mother, tell me what is the BEST memory you have of her? Mine is the many times she came to my rescue. 5/11/2016 05:58:11 am
Sometimes we teach through our imperfections. Our children learn how to deal with their parents and that prepares them to deal with the world. There is no perfect parent, or perfect world to send our children out into. Our imperfection, coupled with our perfect intentions, is our perfection. Much love & light, Reba
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/11/2016 06:14:46 pm
Very well said Reba! Thank you ;)
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/11/2016 06:20:42 pm
That's one of the main goals for which I write... so people begin thinking. Thank you for your comment Sophia! <3 5/11/2016 09:40:02 am
My main goal in life is/was to be a mom. So I put my all in to that. I will will be the best mom I know how to be every day and hope that my daughter sees that.
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/11/2016 06:16:50 pm
Even more important is that you see that. Congratulations on achieving your goal of being a mom Brittany! :) 5/11/2016 10:34:59 am
This was such a sweet post! I love it! And I agree, my mom is the best mom ever! haha!
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/11/2016 06:17:55 pm
I'm glad you loved it Elizabeth! And yes, your mom is the best mom ever! ;)
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/11/2016 06:18:53 pm
I'm glad you liked it Miriah. Thank you for your comment :) 5/12/2016 07:42:24 am
I feel incredibly blessed to be the mother of two of my most powerful teachers in this life - my daughters. I have many friends who have chosen not to have kids and are wonderful aunties to my daughters. I am deeply grateful for this incredible community of women in my life, including my sister and mother. It is wonderful to have nurturing women in our lives but equally as important to nurture ourselves and heal any lack of nurturing we may have experienced by loving and cherishing ourselves!
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/13/2016 11:36:58 am
That's right! By nurturing ourselves we show to our children that it is good and it is ok to nurture themselves too. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of the women in your life Kelley. It brings a smile to my face while I read your comment :D 5/12/2016 07:55:19 am
I love this post, cause it resonates with the mommy in me :) Who feels so very blessed for the gift of my daughter. But I agree with Elizabeth's word on maternity....SO FREAKING TRUE!
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/13/2016 11:43:16 am
By telling her how blessed you feel that she chose you, you make her feel special as well. I'm sure she appreciates hearing that from you. I love it! Moments like these are the ones that stay with a child forever. Thank you for sharing Zeenat! <3
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/13/2016 11:47:56 am
I'm glad you love it Lea! If we prepare our children for this emotional journey while in this world, they will be better able to recognize how they feel and change it accordingly for a better human experience. I'm writing how in my next post. Stay tuned ;) 5/12/2016 04:42:38 pm
I agree with this although my ex has custody of my kids I try to make sure that I am there for them and that they know that I love them so very much,
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/13/2016 11:49:42 am
As long as they get the best version of you when you are with them you will be helping them tremendously. Best wishes for you Christina <3 5/13/2016 11:16:37 am
really great post! So much food for thought on the different types of women out there and motherhood as a stage. Excellent!
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/13/2016 11:51:02 am
I'm glad you liked it Jennifer! Thank you for your comment :) Such a great post. I love this. I am a daughter and a other too. Being a new mom makes me realize so many things that i never thought about my mom in so many ways. My mom used to smile and makes us laugh no matter what going through in life. That is all I remember at the end. Thanks for sharing such a great post.:) www.hugshomemade.com
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/13/2016 04:57:32 pm
Your mother is/was a very wise person. I'm glad you have this great memory from her. Thank you for sharing it with us Chaza <3
Well I'm in the journey to be a mother for now (pregnant in th second trimester). Already loving the feeling of a mom-to-be and honestly I can only hope I do at least 10% of what my mother did and has been doing for me her whole life. I'll be sorted if I achieve that really.
Claudia LeBaron Islas
5/16/2016 09:16:40 am
Congratulations on your baby Tee! You don't have to be 10% of what your mom is to you. You can be 100% of the best-mom-ever to your child. Happy mother's day to you too. Yeah. go ahead and browse around my blog. Enjoy it ;) Comments are closed.
|
Hi! I'm Claudia LeBaron Islas.
The purpose of this blog is to give you ideas, information, and guidance that can help you live an empowered life. Recent Posts Categories
All
Did you find a typo, broken link, or inaccurate information? Let us know so we can fix it. Thank you! |