It’s time we begin looking at happiness differently. Happiness is not a destination to get to, nor a journey you go through. Happiness is right here, right now, where you live.
Happiness is an emotional state where you live most of the day. Happiness is a home; an emotional home.
Happiness is not a destination
Many people live with the sense that one day when things get arranged in a certain way, then they’ll be happy. When they earn more money then they'll be happy, when they get healed then they’ll be happy, when they find the perfect partner then they’ll be happy.
The problem with that way of seeing happiness is that since you think happiness is not nearby and far away from you, you will always be seeing it that way. Life will show you what you expect. If you expect to find happiness somewhere in the future after you accomplish certain goal, you will always be looking for it in the future. And once you get there, to the end of that goal, you will realize happiness was not there. I know that for sure because I lived it.
What this means is that no matter what goals you set to be happy, once you accomplish those goals more goals will come and you’ll be in an eternal mode of 'When I accomplish that, then I’ll be happy'. This is the wrong way to expect to live a happy life because you'll never get there.
So this 'I’ll be happy when...' is a total non-sense and it has to stop if you ever want to be seriously happy. Besides, what is the purpose for accomplishing your goals in the first place? To be happy, isn't it? So, why not just be happy now?
Don’t wait for external accomplishments to be happy; happiness is not behind a destination. Happiness is here and now. I'm not telling you to not set goals, we need them to keep growing, what I'm telling you is to not wait to accomplish them to be happy. Instead choose to be happy now.
Happiness is not a journey
Many more people have been telling us that happiness is not a destination, that happiness is a journey where you choose to be happy all the way. I’m not sure I agree with this completely.
Making happiness a journey makes it hard to get to sometimes. To me a journey has the feeling of going through a path that requires work and effort. Something that has to be accomplished or walked through to live happy.
Happiness is neither about accomplishments nor about journeying somewhere through life. Happiness is way simpler than that.
Happiness is home
Happiness is home. Not exactly your physical home, but your emotional home. Let me explain.
Go to The Joy Scale and find the emotion you feel most of the day all days. Let’s say you feel worry and want to feel happy, then you need to move from worry (30) to happy (80).
The way you make happiness your home is by first choosing to feel happy most of the day every day and do whatever you need to do to get you to that emotional state.
Getting you to feel happy may take you a few minutes or a few days, just remember that there’s nothing external that you require to get you there. Although external circumstances help, feeling happy is an inside job. So, close your eyes, turn your attention to the inside of you, and begin going home.
Once you practice straying happy right now and right now and right now, you’'ll be happy most of the time. Since being happy is how you feel most of the time now, happy is where you now live. Happiness is now your home.
Happiness being your home means that happiness is the emotional state where you spend most of the time of your day. Yes, you get out of it, but you always come back home.
There's something I want you to keep in mind. Just like you can make happiness your home, you have to be aware that you can make any other emotion your home; any of them.
For instance, if your home is depression, you live in depression most of the time, but throughout the day you go out and briefly spend some time in other emotions such as resentment, uninterested, compassion, happiness, peace, and other positive emotions, and eventually you go back home to depression.
When you go out and visit other emotions, stay there as long as possible before you go back home to depression. If you stay longer in other positive emotions, after awhile you are not going to return to depression anymore, you are going to stay in a more positive emotion. That's how you are going to be moving to happiness little by little.
The same is true if you live in peace. You live in peace most of your time but throughout the day you go out and briefly spend some time in other emotions but then eventually you go back home to feeling peaceful. In this case, make sure you go back to peace as soon as possible.
So, where do you live now? Do you like that home? If so, stay there. If you don’t like that home, where do you want to live? Look for it in The Joy Scale. Pick one new home and do whatever you need to do to move there, beginning right now.
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." –Abraham Lincoln
I would love to hear where you live. Not physically though, emotionally. Do you like where your emotional home is? If not, do you have plans to move? Please share with us in the comments below.
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