We all love happy endings, don’t we? In most stories we hear or watch we expect a happy ending, and if we don’t get it, we don’t like the story.
But, how about in our personal stories? Can we have happily ever afters in our lives?
Happy endings are about living in a content or joyful state for the rest of our lives. And although we can live joyful and content most of our lives, it’s impossible to stay in one emotional state all the time.
Living happily ever after -most of the time
If you’re living in the positive emotions most of your life, I’m sure throughout the day you’ll have, at some point of another, a moment of negativity. It can be a simple moment of worry, doubt or anger. At the moment that happens, you’re no longer living happily ever after. The good thing is that you're still living happily ever after most of the time, which is more realistic.
If you're living in the negative emotions most of the time, you also have your happy moments throughout the day. It can be a moment of inspiration, playfulness or optimism. At the moment that happens you’re living happy even if for a few moments.
Emotions are not bad
I want to clarify that emotions and the way you feel are not bad. What it's bad, and I say bad because it hurts you and others, is staying too long on those emotions that don’t serve you.
In case you are wondering why do we even have emotions, the answer is because they're needed in this life experience. It’s what makes life fun.
Imagine having an experience where you win a car in a contest. What would you do? You would probably scream, laugh and jump up and down while releasing a few tears of joy. Think for a few moments all the emotions involved in that reaction. They could be joy, happiness, excitement, surprise and more.
Now imagine you're seeing someone else win another car and they do nothing. They don’t even move. No smile, no excitement, nada. Wouldn’t you be disappointed at that person’s reaction, or lack thereof? Why? Because we expect those emotions; because we need them; because that’s what we are. Humans are emotions.
Living happily ever after is about knowing how to process emotions
Happily ever after is about understanding and knowing that emotions come and go in our lives, all day every day. We need them. We like them. We expect them. Then why not have a plan for them so we don’t get too caught off guard?
I’m not sure in which part of the human history we stopped allowing ourselves to feel. Not allowing ourselves to feel and process emotions is not normal, not healthy and not human.
To process an emotion, don’t move and don’t follow the negative thoughts that come to your mind in that moment. Those thoughts just keep feeding the negative emotions until they're no longer easy to control.
Just stay right there where you are and feel the emotion in your body until it dissipates. There is no one way to process them or feel them. The way I feel some of them it's as if I'm pouring an Alka-Seltzer in water. It feels like hot bubbling all over my body especially in my torso, arms and chest with them occasionally going to my face.
Then as I stay with the emotion, little by little, it calms down. Many people who do dangerous things, who hurt others, or take negative action, it's because they're not letting that bubbling time finish.
So, it's better to have a plan that allows yourself to feel each negative emotion, doesn't matter how bad it might feel. Don’t plan to react, just plan to feel. Do this for a while and you’ll notice that after allowing yourself to feel and live with that emotion for at least two minutes, you’re going to realize that things were not that bad after all.
Once your point of view changes, then and only then, you take action.
You have a choice. You always have a choice. Make choices that are good for you so you can have your happily ever after... most of the time.
When I say manage emotions, I only mean the really distressing incapacitating emotions. Feeling emotions is what makes life rich.” –Daniel Goleman
Do you have plans that allow yourself to live happily ever after most of the time? What are they? Please share them with us in the comments below.
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