I’m not against giving when giving feels good to you, but I’m against giving when giving causes you to experience stress and other negative emotions.
When giving is not good
When you have the means but giving will get you in a tight situation. Giving is not good when it causes you stress at the moment of buying or after. Nobody has to give anything. We all give because we want to. Make sure you give what you can afford now and stop borrowing from your future pay. Having credit cards with large limits does not mean you have that money available to spend in whichever way you want; remember, you still have to pay that money back. Try to get in the habit that credit cards are for emergencies mostly.
When there is not a need. There are so many really nice and cool things in the stores. Things we could never imagine existed. As you see things you imagine the right person you could give it to. But, was it in your plans to buy a gift for that person? Does the price of the item is within your spending budget? If you say no to one of these, then I do not recommend you to buy it.
When giving is good
When you have planned for it. It’s always best to plan when you’re going to give a large amount of cash or when you're expecting to spend lots of money in expensive gifts. The emotional levels are best managed when we plan for large expenses. Emotion control is what I want you to keep in mind here. If spending large amounts of money, regardless of the size of your bank account, makes you feel anxious, angry, worried, or any other negative emotion, then it’s better if you plan your expenses ahead.
When there is a need. This one is my favorite. I believe there is no better way to have your gifts appreciated than when you see that they were used for a great cause at the moment when they were needed the most. You could save all the money you could spend in gifts for people who already have everything and don’t really need much and instead save it for the person who needs it most; doesn’t matter who that person is as long as you feel called to help. It could be to help pay tuition for college, it could be to help pay for a surgery to be able to eat again without pain, or it could be to help with a stem cell treatment to help a person walk again. The person who will need it most will appreciate it the most and will benefit the most, and you will feel fulfilled the most. Try it.
A generous man will give to the right person, the right amounts and at the right times.” –Aristotle
Underneath our desire to give there’s always a reason for which we do give. Which one is yours? To feel valued, important, to get approval, to feel appreciated, or to feel fulfillment?
Whichever reason you have to give, just make sure you feel good when you do it.
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